For Wax Jism, 'cos she is so speshal.

by Lesa Soja

They didn't notice what was happening right away, because they got to the island late in the evening, and they had had dinner on the plane, so they didn't have very much to eat or drink before they fell into bed. The next day, though, they did some rehearsing in the afternoon and drank glass after glass of water. And that night Justin heard giggling coming from Lance's room next door, Lance's low mutter and Joey's resonant roll. He felt sort of hot himself; he jerked off but it didn't really help. He had a hard time falling asleep.

The next morning Lance was sitting in Joey's lap at the breakfast table feeding him bites of egg. Chris was reading an English-language paper. Justin looked at them and sat down without comment. JC, though, stopped and stared when he came in. "Guys?" he said.

"Yeah?" Lance said.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"But you're not into that. You said you weren't into it."

Joey shrugged. "We wanted to."

"Yeah," Lance said. "We just felt like it."

"Like, suddenly, you just wanted to?" JC said. "Both of you?"

"Me too," Chris said, looking up abruptly. "I couldn't stop thinking about you last night."

"You, who?" Lance said cautiously.

"All of you," Chris said, waving his hand in a circle.

"Huh," Lance said.

"What about you, Justin?" JC said angrily. "You gonna tell me you're jumping on the bandwagon now, too?"

"Um, yeah," Justin said, looking down at his coffee.

"I don't get it," JC said. "I don't believe you." But he sat down and ate some cereal. Justin watched JC's spoon slide into his mouth and didn't answer.

Justin figured it out that afternoon, seeing Lance drink and drink and swallow, and then turn in the same motion to catch Joey's glance and lick his lips. The smile that passed between them was hard to watch. He didn't say anything, though; he left that to Chris, who blurted out a while later, "Dude, this water is spiked or something. I feel drunk."

"I feel kind of woozy," Lance admitted.

"I feel horny," Joey said.

"I don't feel any different," JC said.

"I bet it is the water," Joey said.

"Okay, I'm asking the manager," Chris said. So they all followed him to her office in the east wing of the compound.

She looked up at them glumly when they burst in the door and said, "Oh. You guys."

"Yeah, us," Chris said. "You wanna tell us what's up with the water?"

"That," she said. "Yeah. It takes visitors that way sometimes."


"Well, not if you were queer already, of course."

"Oh, of course," Chris said. "Don't you think it's kind of, I don't know, strange?"

"You want bottled water instead?"

"No," Joey said.

"Then why am I not writing my report right now?"

"You are," Joey said. "Sorry to bother you," and he shepherded the rest of them out ahead of him, even Chris, whose hands were still circling in the air.

"Sorry," Justin echoed as Joey turned him around.

It didn't taste any different than regular water, apart from not having the plastic taint of bottles. Justin took another drink and held it in his mouth, trying to pay attention, but he still couldn't taste anything. He swallowed and got up to refill his glass.

JC looked a little surprised when Justin showed up at his door that night, but he let him in and stood still while Justin wrapped his arms around his neck. "Justin," he said.

"Please," Justin said, pressing his lips to JC's collarbone.

"I don't know," JC said. "Juju, this isn't -"

"I want to," Justin said. "Don't you want to?"

"Yeah," JC said. "Hell yeah."

So Justin moved up to kiss JC's mouth and cheek and chin, and JC ran his hands over Justin's hair, tugging a little at the short ends. "Mm," Justin said, feeling the tweak on his scalp. His dick was marvelously hard where he was rubbing up against JC.

"C'mere," JC said, and he sat Justin down on the bed and pulled off his shoes and socks and kissed the tops of his feet. He pressed his forehead against Justin's shins, and his breath was hot through the cotton.

"C'mon, c'mon," Justin said, rocking a little on the mattress, and JC grinned and moved up between his thighs.

Justin went back to the manager's office the next day and leaned in the doorway till she looked up. "Is all the water in Finland like this?" he asked.

"No," she said. "Just here."

"Oh," he said.

"Was there anything else?" she said after a moment.

"No," he said. "I was just wondering."


She kept on looking at him, though, till he turned around and left.

They worked really hard, and the new songs went great. They were learning them faster than ever, blocking out new dance routines one after another after another. Justin watched the whole group moving together in the mirror, the heat pouring off them, and thought, we are on. We are so on.

Joey did have a slight dip in his energy level the morning after Lance went into Chris's room. But he danced up a storm as soon as Chris said, "Joey?" And the next night Justin could hear Chris's grunts quite clearly through the wall from Joey's room. At least, he could until JC's fingers pressed into his ass.

Lance was the first to stop drinking the water. "I feel dizzy," he said one day during rehearsal. "Hang on -" and he stood still with his hand out for balance till it passed. Then he started missing steps again. No one thought anything of it at first, when it was just a few of the trickier ones, but it got to be more and more, ones he should have been able to do in his sleep, and he got yelled at. Then came the day when he sat down on the couch in the control room and his head lolled back to one side, and his face went gray.

"Lance!" Joey said.

"He's passed out," Chris said. He crouched in front of Lance and patted his cheeks. "Lance. Wake up. C'mon, Lance."

Lance's eyelashes fluttered up, and he stared at Chris for a minute before lifting his head.

"Get him some water," Chris said.

"No," Lance croaked. "No - water."

So he went and asked the manager for bottled water, and drank nothing but that and soda from a can for the rest of the time they were there. "'Cause I am not going into the hospital again," he announced at dinner. "Not over something like this." He said she'd assured him that washing was fine, that the water only had an effect when ingested, but he started taking baths instead of showers anyway to decrease the chance of getting any in his mouth.

Joey went on drinking the tap water until Chris lost his balance and stumbled so badly that he fell and twisted his ankle, and decided it wasn't worth it. Then Joey stopped, too.

Justin taught himself to dance through the heady swirls when he lost where up and down were, but the nosebleeds were harder to hide. Chris walked into the bathroom once while Justin was wrapping a wad of toilet paper in paper towels and said, "What the hell is that?"

"Nothing," Justin said.

"Have you been getting those a lot?"


"Justin -" Chris said, but Justin glared at him, and Chris shut up.

He got another one that night and had to let JC's cock go so he could try to breathe through his mouth. "Justin, what -" JC said, sitting up, and then, "oh no, Just, oh -" He wiped at Justin's upper lip with his fingers and then reached over to the bedside table to grab some kleenex. Justin tipped his head forward, pinching his nose. JC rubbed circles on his back.

"I thick it'ss the air," Justin said. "The elevatio'."

JC stopped rubbing, and Justin turned to look at him. "I don't think it's the air," JC said. His hand strayed nervously to his mouth, his tongue flicking out to his fingertips.

Justin lunged at him and shoved him down on the mattress. JC's thighs spread out and his eyes slid shut. Justin propped himself on one hand while he was thrusting so he could dab at his nose with the back of the other.

"I can't believe you're still drinking that shit," Lance said.

"What's it to you?"

"You're gonna fuck yourself up, man. JC can't be that good."

"Fuck off," Justin snarled.

He didn't fall during rehearsal. But he was glad there was a railing in the stairwell.

The next time, JC got off the bed entirely. The mattress dipped as he stood up. Justin put one hand to his nose and the other to his temple.

"You should stop with that stuff, Ju," JC said.

"No," Justin said.

"Justin, come on. This isn't - it's not good for you."


JC sighed.

"Come back to bed," Justin said finally.

JC bit his lip but came back and lay down next to Justin. "I worry about you," he said, capturing Justin's hand and moving it back off his stomach. Justin tried to get his fingers free but JC just squeezed them and didn't let go.

"Listen, Justin -" Joey said.

"Leave me alone," Justin said.

"Look, I know you like how it makes you feel. I liked it too, man. But it's gonna catch up with you."

"Iím fine," Justin said. "I can handle it."

"- hear me?" JC was saying. Justin opened his eyes and JC's face loomed over him.

"'Course," Justin said.

"Justin! - He's awake," JC said over his shoulder.

"Hear you fine," Justin said.

"Shh, don't talk," JC said. Justin wanted to tell JC not to ask him questions then, but when he lifted his head the room spun around, and he forgot to. He let his head drop again. There was something soft under it. Farther down, the hardwood floor pressed against his spine.

"Do you think you can get up?" JC said eventually, and Justin let himself be pulled to his feet. JC drew one of Justin's arms over his shoulders. Justin staggered, even so. Joey came and ducked under Justin's other arm.

"Listen, Justin," JC said when they'd gotten Justin back to his own room. "You have got to take a break or something, okay? For a while, at least?"

"Okay, okay," Justin said finally, just so that JC would stop talking and the room could get quiet.

So Justin started drinking from the bottles. Pretty soon his head cleared up. After a few more days his dancing was back on target, and he felt stronger than ever. Joey high-fived him after rehearsal.

Chris hid one of his shoes in the toilet tank, and Justin yelled for ten minutes straight. Chris had the new steps down better than any of them, though. Joey was doing fine, too. Even Lance looked all right once he got warmed up.

JC looked like a schmuck with a big nose. Justin didn't look at him if he could help it.

After a week Justin couldn't stand it and went to JC's room anyway.

"Ju - you haven't been - " JC said.

"No," Justin said. "I just wanna be with you."

JC looked at him. "Okay," he said finally.

They lay down together and JC let Justin roll on top of him. Justin pushed his mouth against JC's, gently at first and then harder. It was sort of damp and not very warm. He tried and tried, but he couldn't find the flare. He banged his teeth down in frustration. It wasn't like kissing JC at all.

JC's hands closed over his shoulders, pushing him back. "Justin, stop. I don't wanna do this." And it was true, JC was no harder than he was.

"I love you," Justin said. "I wanna love you."

"I love you, too," JC said. He stretched to kiss Justin's forehead. Then he tilted one hip up so that Justin slid off him. Justin curled up with his back brushing JC's side and squeezed his eyes shut.

He turned on the faucet in the bathroom and watched the water run. The dim light from the frosted window barely glanced off it. He held his hand under the stream and lifted it to let the drops run down his fingers.

Three days later he held the glass under the faucet and poured the water down his throat. Then he did it again, and again. And again.

He went into JC's room without knocking. JC stood up quickly. Justin grabbed him and pushed him backwards towards the bed.

He was a little afraid when JC pressed back against his weight, but JC just arched into him. It was a terrible relief to get back into the circle of JC's arms. "Missed you," Justin said. "Missed you, I missed you, I missed you," and JC kissed him hard, mouth already open, their cocks sliding together. Justin turned his tongue to the side to lick down JC's neck and just kept going, over his shoulder, chest, stomach, and thigh, twisting down till he could reach the arch of JC's foot. JC dug a hand into his side. Justin squirmed under JC's fingers, overbalancing on the edge of the bed, and then he was tumbling to the floor, dragging JC with him. He scrabbled around some more till he had a leg on each side of JC, and when he lifted up, his ass pressed against JC's dick. When JC fucked him, it felt like flying.

Afterwards, Justin molded himself to JC's side and tucked his cheek against the rapidfire stutter of JC's heart. JC put an arm around him and traced two fingers down his spine.

Justin listened to JC's breathing and tried to match the rhythm with his own.

"Justin," JC said after a while, "you have to stop."

Justin hunched his shoulders and didn't answer.

The next night JC's door was locked. Justin knocked and knocked, calling, "c'mon, please, JC, talk to me," and then he was yelling, "I know you're in there, you fucker! Open up! Open the fucking door, JC!" His head throbbed. There was no sound from inside the room.

Justin let his knees go and slid down to the carpeted floor. "JC, JC, JC," he choked out. "JC. JC." He swallowed hard. Then he turned around and braced his shoulders against the door, arching his back, and wrapped his hand around his cock. It was nowhere near enough, but he just went faster. He moaned good and loud so JC could hear. All the doors up and down the hallway stayed stubbornly shut.

When he was done he went back to his own room and lay face down on his bed. His hands were shaking and his head was whirling. He lay in an exhausted stupor for a long time before finally falling asleep.

The sun was high in the sky when he woke up. He should have been down at rehearsal hours ago, but no one had called him. No one bothered him the rest of the day, either.

His room had a view of the ocean. He sat at the window the whole afternoon, watching the breakers roll in to the shore.

He tried JC's door every night for a week, but it was always locked. He wasn't surprised. He'd already stopped drinking the water again, anyway.

When they left the island, Justin emptied out a bottle, filled it from the tap, and put it in his suitcase. He transferred it to his duffel bag when the tour started and carried it around with him from city to city.

The tour was a smashing success. They sold out every stadium they played.

JC started dating a guy he'd met at the Blockbuster awards. He made a lot of phone calls and disappeared to LA every chance he got.

Justin picked up JC's phone once, when JC had left it lying on the couch, and scrolled through the names till he found Amos. He pushed Talk without really thinking about it and listened to the ringing.

"Jayce?" a baritone voice said. He sounded pleased. Justin hung up.

He watched JC critically out of the corner of his eye while they were performing. Girls always screamed during JC's solos. JC was a good dancer, Justin thought, but not as good as he was.

A while later they went to Pasadena. They were really wiped after the show, except for JC, who tried to get them to go out clubbing.

"Aren't you gonna go see your boy?" Chris said.

"Nah," JC said. "We broke up."

"I'm sorry, man," Joey said.

JC shrugged. "No big," he said. "Just didn't work out."

Justin didn't say anything.

On JC's birthday, Justin poured some of the water into a glass and drank it in small swallows. He shook his head experimentally from side to side, but it felt fine. He went to JC's room and let himself in with the extra keycard.

JC wasn't there. Justin lay down on the bed and waited.

He woke up when the door opened. "Justin," JC said. His voice slurred a little over the s.

"Hi," Justin said, rubbing his eyes.

JC leaned back against the doorjamb. "Aw, J," he said. "What did you do." It didn't really sound like a question.

"I, um," Justin said. "Happy birthday."

JC pushed off with a hand on the wall and came forward, pulling off his shirt. Justin watched him without moving. JC climbed onto the foot of the bed and crawled up to straddle him. "Fuck, you're pretty," he said.

"JC," Justin said. JC's mouth came down on his throat.

When they rolled over, Justin scooted down till he could reach JC's cock. It felt odd in his mouth, a foreign weight. He tongued around it a bit and pulled off again to try for a better hold.

"Juju," JC said, and Justin looked up to his dark gaze. "Lemme do that."

"JC -" Justin said, but JC had already pushed him onto his back.

JC's mouth felt great. Justin had always loved getting head.

After Justin came, JC sat up, his fingers circling his own cock. "No, wait," Justin said, and he moved forward and pushed JC's hand away. JC grinned and leaned back, propping himself on the heels of his palms. He thrust up a little into Justin's grip.

Justin knew perfectly well how to use his hand, even at that awkward angle. Afterwards JC kissed him softly, and Justin closed his eyes.

JC turned to try to tug the blankets back into some kind of order. Justin shifted to the side and then just got up altogether. "I guess I better, um, get back," he said.

"Okay," JC said. He stood up too and came over and kissed Justin again. "You're wonderful, J. I love you."

"Yeah, I love you," Justin said.

He forgot his sunglasses one afternoon and came back onto the bus to look for them. When he started rummaging in his bag, it felt sort of damp inside. He dumped everything out and discovered that the plastic bottle had split down the side, and some of his clothes were soaked.

He stood there and looked at the mess for a while. Then he threw the bottle away and spread the clothes out on his bunk to dry. He wiped off the glasses and put them on and went back outside.